


unconditional

by lucie clare (lucieclare0221)



Category: The Outsiders - All Media Types, The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton
Genre: Gay Male Character, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-06-27 23:22:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15695460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucieclare0221/pseuds/lucie%20clare
Summary: he realizes this could be the end of his relationship with his brothers, but he simply can't hide it any longer.





	unconditional

I couldn’t breathe. The first sob sucked all the oxygen out of my lungs, leaving me gasping like a fish out of water.

I couldn’t think. Raw emotion was the only thing coursing through my veins, leaving my extremities numb and tingling. 

I know that this is the end, the final farewell, the kiss goodbye to my relationships with my brothers. The gang. Hell, I’ll even miss this town. Where will I go? Where will I be accepted. Who will welcome me as I am, with this disease…

“Pone?” I was brought back to reality by Soda’s voice. Gravity returned, my elbows sinking into the dinner table, my hands still pressed to my face, trying to hide what no one could see with the naked eye. 

“What’s wrong, kiddo? Come on, look at us.” Slowly, I brought my hands down from my face, looking at my brothers, whom I loved so much, who would hate me when I told them what I’ve been hiding for so long.

They both looked at me, concern etched into their eyes. I swallowed, not knowing exactly how I would tell them, but nevertheless knowing it has to be done. If I hide it for any longer, it will eat me alive. I can already feel myself going insane.

I take a deep, shuddering breath, desperately trying to pull myself together. 

“I’m sick.”

Silence. They both stare at me, at a loss for words. I can see the questions crossing through their minds. How serious? When did you find out? What on Earth do you mean? 

Darry clears his throat. “Pony, what do you mean? When did you go to a doctor? You’re gonna have to be a little clearer, kiddo.”

I stare down at my hands splayed out on the table. I slowly shake my head. I small sob hiccups through my body. “It’s not… that kind of sickness. Physical. It’s in my head.”

Now, they look more confused than ever. 

Just spit it out, I tell myself. 

“I’m a queer. A fag. I like boys.” I say in one breath. Just saying that drained me of all my energy. I bring my hands to my lap, still not meeting their eyes. Tears roll down my cheeks, heat burning my face. I’ve never been more ashamed. Never hated myself more. 

It hits me like a wall, what I just did. What I just admitted. I’m crying hard again, and I bring my hands to my face. I can’t look at them. The hate that is surely in their eyes. 

Just as I’m preparing to stand up, pack my bags, and leave forever, warm hands are pulling my hands from my face. They cup my head, and I open my eyes to look at the warm, chocolate ones staring intently at me. They’re a bit watery, and I’m surprised to see love in them. 

“Pony. We love you. Nothing, nothing, will change that.”

I’m wrapped into his embrace, and Darry comes up behind me. As I’m enveloped in the warmth and safety of my two brothers, I wonder how I got so lucky. How wrongly I predicted their reactions.

I am relieved, but icy fear still faintly courses through me. Because I know most people are not like my brothers. Most people would strangle me, beat me to death, torment me, for who I am- not hug me. Not love me unconditionally.


End file.
